


Fifteen, Twenty-five

by owlsshadows



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Reminiscing, Requited Unrequited Love, Romantic Fluff, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 05:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19266397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlsshadows/pseuds/owlsshadows
Summary: Sawamura Daichi was everything Kei looked for in a person: generous, strict, strong and composed - and he became everything Kei needed: captain, confidant, role-model and gay awakening.In which Tsukishima, though all grown up, still has some lingering feelings for his first ever crush.





	Fifteen, Twenty-five

**Author's Note:**

> I am eternally grateful to Stacy and Jade for looking through this mess.
> 
> Also, I blame Stacy in general for reinforcing all the DaiTsuki feelings; you start with a little curiosity, but as they are wildly contagious you fall deep before you notice.
> 
> Dear Reader, you have been warned. I take no responsibility if you catch the DaiTsuki.

Tsukishima Kei lives his life in a way to ensure he has as few regrets as possible. Most of them are fleeting, temporary ones that he forgets the next day, like when he misses out on the limited edition strawberry latte because it slipped his mind, or when he accidentally compliments Hinata Shouyou over his career advancements in professional volleyball only to listen to Hinata's endless monologues afterwards.

Even among those that linger for a while - like how he drifted apart from his brother during middle school, or how he never really recognized Yamaguchi as his equal until high school -, there is only one that comes back, haunting him from time to time. It greets him in the face every Sunday afternoon, and revisits him in his dreams shortly after.

It becomes a recurring presence in his mind, and his lamentations turn week by week, little by little into torments.

Sawamura Daichi was his captain in his first year in high school - and to date the only man Kei is willing to follow. He was everything Kei looked for in a person: generous, strict, strong and composed, and he became everything Kei needed: captain, confidant, role-model, gay awakening.

Fifteen-year-old Kei was all but infatuated with the captain of his volleyball club, even if he felt that catching feelings was the dumbest thing he could ever do. Now, ten years later, he kind of wishes fifteen-year-old Kei was on the intelligence level of Hinata or Kageyama, and instead of nurturing his one-sided crush for the past decade, he would have simply blurted out his feelings to Daichi all those years ago. Probably, he thinks now as he walks towards the gym where the Karasuno Neighborhood Association team is playing, he would have it easier if he’d confessed and got rejected back in high school.

The road wouldn’t be less bumpy, and the gym less smelly. But the man smiling at him from the door frame would very much be easier to look at - if he was just a hot young man Kei once had feelings for, and not his first ever crush that he never quite managed to get over.

"Tsukishima, you’re here early," Daichi greets him, to which Kei simply shrugs. A smile pulls at his ex-captain’s face, tugging at Kei’s heartstrings. "You always are," he adds, and if Kei didn’t know better he would swear that Daichi’s eyes have a mischievous glint to them.

"No matter how early I arrive, I am never here first," Kei replies.

"I didn't peg you as someone who would care about stuff like that," Daichi says amused. "It's more of a Hinata or Kageyama thing to do."

Kei smiles at the jab. Back in high school he would have flinched at it, being compared to the idiot duo. Back in high school he had lots of energy to play edgy.

"I might have been influenced over the years," he says mildly, walking up to his ex-captain and momentarily enjoying the thrill of their height difference. "I might just want to test how early you would be here."

"I'm here early," Daichi replies, stepping aside to let Kei in. "But it's not my choice. The bus schedule is not my friend, I get here either half an hour early or ten minutes late."

"You could always be late."

"I want to spend as much time playing as possible."

"As serious as ever," Kei laughs in reply, dropping his bag on a bench. "Do you have the changing room keys?"

"What if I don’t?"

The question comes as a surprise, tone obviously teasing, bordering on flirtatious. Kei’s smile slips from his face as his jaw drops, but he gathers himself just in time to appear unfazed as he straightens back up, meeting Daichi’s gaze.

His ex-captain looks at him with his most innocent smile, making Kei question if he didn’t just imagine the whole thing with the tone.

"You really don’t have it, do you?"

"Nishinoya has the keys," Daichi replies. "But he stormed off somewhere not long after we changed."

"Just how long ago did you arrive?" Kei murmurs, smile playing on his lips, before he lets out a theatrical sigh. "Guess I have no choice but to wait for the others, do I?" he asks, lifting his arms above his head and stretching.

"Either that, or you change here," Daichi replies.

"Why would I do that?"

"We could start warm up earlier," Daichi says. Even though Kei is sure that his ex-captain has already done some warm up, the offer sounds earnest and way too alluring to pass it up. Still, not wanting to seem overly eager - he is not fifteen anymore after all - Kei scrunches up his face, pretending to be hesitant. "I’ll guard the door for you so no one can peek in," Daichi says then, and he winks, killing Kei in an instant.

"Guard it well," Kei mumbles, turning away to hide his blush.

Really, his life would be so much easier if he’d confessed at fifteen. If he had gotten rejected properly, the tiny voice in his head wouldn’t whisper hopeful things in his ear, and his heart wouldn’t flutter like confused bird in a cage.

Sundays he is usually off, so he could basically just wear the same thing for practice that he had arrived in. Except, he is Tsukishima Kei and he can’t stand sweat. He pulls his hoodie over his head before opening his bag to take his shorts and a change of T-shirt out. He hears Daichi humming behind him as he peels his jeans off, too tight for good taste according to Akiteru, and feels a strange tingling in his veins at the thought that Daichi can see him.

They have changed in front of each other countless times, be it in high school or the neighbourhood association. Yet there is something exciting in the feeling of shedding his clothes in front of Daichi in the middle of the gym. He can feel the cold spring air crawling up his naked legs coming from the open doors, and his brain plays him again, imagining Daichi’s hands run up his thighs instead of the wind.

It’s dangerous, letting his thoughts roam wild, so he commands his mind in order, pulling on his shorts unceremoniously. He unbuttons his shirt quickly, dropping it on top of his jeans on the bench, and is reaching for his practice T-shirt when he hears a voice behind him.

"How is work?" Daichi asks casually. His voice sends a shiver down Kei's spine, and Kei struggles longer than necessary with pulling on his T-shirt as it provides him temporary shield to hide his blush behind.

There's something incredibly intimate in talking to Daichi while he dresses - it almost feels domestic, in a way his fifteen year old self would have never imagined them to be.

Where fifteen-year-old Kei would follow Daichi dreamily, making up fantasies not any different from a shoujo manga about intricate plots where they had to hide their relationship from the team, Kei at twenty-five daydreams about sleeping in after a night spent together, sharing fleeting touches and kisses between making breakfast and washing dishes.

He is forcefully dragged out of his daydreams by Nishinoya’s cheerful shout from outside.

"Daichi-san, hello! You’re here early as usual!"

"So are you, Nishinoya," Daichi replies nonchalant, as if he didn't tell Kei just a few minutes ago that Nishinoya had already arrived and changed, storming off with the keys.

"Oh, you're here too, Tsukishima, hi!" Nishinoya greets Kei, who finished changing and walked up to the door upon hearing the libero's voice.

"Hi, Noya-san," Kei replies, stealing a side glance at Daichi, who looks surprisingly unconcerned for someone caught lying. And while generally Kei doesn't appreciate being lied to - this time instead of frustrated, he becomes intrigued. "You need the keys to the changing room, don't you?" he turns to Nishinoya.

"I was just about to ask!" the libero beams at him. Kei smiles in return.

"Here," Daichi says, pulling the keys out of the pocket of his short.

 

*

 

Nishinoya hasn’t even stepped out of the gym when Tanaka arrives. Despite their differences, Kei has always been on good terms with Tanaka, and considers him one of his very few friends. So even if he burns to ask Daichi about the whole situation with the keys, he greets his high school senpai with a rare warm smile. They exchange a few words, Tanaka updating them on the preparations of his upcoming wedding, and by the time Ennoshita arrives to drag his boyfriend off to the changing rooms, Nishinoya returns. Kei is, therefore, ultimately forced to confront Daichi later, after they wrap up their practice.

Part of him fears that Karasuno’s ex-captain would slip out of his hands, leaving before he could corner him, another part almost wishes it would happen. He doesn’t want to risk drawing any premature assumptions and above all he doesn’t want to feel hopeful, but… he can’t help it. He has been nurturing his dumb crush for over a decade - and on good days, on days when they accidentally shared a roof to shelter from a sudden downpour, when Daichi called out for him and ran to catch up with him on the way to the bus stop, or when Daichi invited him and him alone for pork buns; Kei felt that they had a deeper connection than being simply senpai and kouhai from the same club.

He could never really get over Daichi, because Daichi was, and is, everything he has been looking for in a person. Daichi believed in Kei even when Kei himself didn’t. He trusted Kei, in certain questions even more than he trusted his own vice-captain, Suga (given Suga was and is an enabler from the worst kind, undoubtedly), and he counted on Kei when Kei thought his sole purpose on the team was to raise their average height. Daichi would never let Kei be left behind. He never pushed him too hard, never chased him unless he absolutely had to; and Kei enjoyed the freedom he was granted with, knowing that he could still reach out and Daichi would be there if he needed a helping hand. Where he bonded with Tanaka over riling up members of opposing teams, he bonded with Daichi over roasting his own. Where Tanaka occasionally nagged him for his lack of enthusiasm, Daichi would tease the living hell out of him, while doing it so subtly that only Kei would notice.

Kei doesn’t want to allow hope to take over, but he knows perfectly well that he has been holding onto his crush for so long because he has never wanted to let go of his casual daydreams about the hypothetical scenario of Sawamura Daichi liking him back.

Though absent-minded, Kei manages to play well, pulling his team through the most crucial of situations. After their match ends, Ennoshita is the first to grab his stuff and head towards the changing room. Usually Kei would be right after, if not even ahead of him, craving to rid himself of his sweat in the showers. Today he lingers a little more, fiddling with his shoelaces by the benches as he steals glances towards his ex-captain.

Daichi shows no signs of escaping.

In fact, he offers to stay last, and asks Kei if he could help him take care of the net.

"Sure," Kei replies, rising from the bench.

He likes being tall, especially when Daichi looks at him the way he does now, with a barely concealed challenge in his eyes.

"Good," Daichi answers, smirk pulling at the corners of his lips.

They start working, moving in sync with the experience of people who had time to get accustomed to each other, bodies acting on routine rather than active thinking. Kei enjoys it like this; just Daichi and him side-by-side in the empty gym, folding the net with no words needed to understand each other.

Yet, when Daichi shuffles around to fix a hook, Kei hears the sound of metal clanging in his pocket, and he is immediately reminded of the quest ahead him.

He lets out a sigh, heavy and exhausted. Daichi looks up, question in his eyes.

"You lied to me," Kei says, but his tone is more surprised than accusatory.

"I did," Daichi admits.

Kei would love to be able to read him like a book, but Daichi, the always so honest-looking Daichi, had been an enigma to him since they met. He was never really the goody-two-shoes his appearance let on. On one occasion he even offered Kei to beat someone up on the opposing team.

"Why?" Kei asks instead.

"I wanted to see you change," Daichi admits easily, without a hint of shame, then turns to Kei and stares in his eyes. "I know that was underhanded from me, but haven't you been doing sneaky shit for a while, Tsukishima?"

"Sneaky shit?"

"Arriving early?" Daichi smiles at him, and upon receiving nothing but a frown from Kei, he continues. "You seemed almost eager to join the neighborhood association. If that was not suspicious enough, you are now showing up earlier and earlier."

"So do you," Kei points out.

"I… want to be here by the time you arrive," Daichi says to that.

His eyes, big and round and so deceivingly innocent-looking, shine at Kei and Kei wants to simultaneously stare at them until the end of times and die from embarrassment for thinking something like that.

"So you can cheat me into changing in front of you?" he can’t help but ask, teasing, and Daichi’s eyes darken.

"I have a hunch as to why you are so eager to come to practice."

Kei could not be bothered less by Daichi ignoring his teasing; his breath hitches at the intense way Daichi looks at him now.

So what if he didn’t muster up the courage - or more so, didn’t shed his pride - to confess his feelings and get rejected at fifteen? He can still do it now. He can do it today.

As a matter of choice, if he admitted to his lust, it would probably even be better. He might even get laid. Daichi said that he wanted to see Kei change, after all. Maybe, if his feelings are not reciprocated his attraction is.

Before he can open his mouth, however, Daichi places a hand over his arm, squeezing it.

"You know," Daichi says, eyes piercing through Kei’s very existence, "I have always been pretty blind when it came to matters of the heart; I didn’t even notice my friend pining after me for six years. If she didn’t let it slip last year that she loved me back then, I would have probably never known."

Kei wants to cast his eyes away, but he is captivated by the warmth and sincerity of Daichi’s eyes. He also wants to abruptly cut in Daichi’s monologue - to reassure him that he is not like Yui-san, and he has only started fancying Daichi’s body lately, and how his attraction is strictly physical and how he would be perfectly happy with a friends-with-benefits situation, but Daichi doesn’t let him talk.

"I can’t count the times Suga called me dense," Daichi laughs, and Kei is finished. "And truly, he has always had a sharp sense when it came to romance; interestingly though, when I asked his opinion about a certain kouhai I suspected of liking me, he laughed at me."

"Was that kouhai me?" Kei asks. His voice comes up surprisingly calm, for someone screaming so loud on the inside.

"Bingo," Daichi says and finger guns Kei, who can’t help but laugh in response.

It’s such an awkward and wild gesture, it fits his ex-captain but at the same time it couldn’t be more different than the usual Daichi he’s used to.

"I thought I must have been mistaken if Suga hasn’t picked up on it. But the thought kept pestering me, what if I was not wrong after all? I tried to seek your company to figure it out, but my time left in school was limited, and I couldn’t get a definitive answer to my feeling. Then university rolled around and I found myself so busy I had no time to think about a high school boy who might have liked me, even if the thought was pestering enough to make me visit Karasuno a few times once the new school year started."

Kei didn’t know that. He had never met Daichi after graduation; not until he returned from university and established his office in Sendai anyways.

"Fate must have played a practical joke on me, because you were never there when I visited," Daichi continues, mirroring Kei’s thoughts. "Time passed, and by the next time I saw you, you were this," Daichi’s hand gives Kei a pat, "a fully grown, accomplished adult. I thought, even if you liked me in high school, you must have been long over me. Except, it doesn’t seem to be the case."

Daichi sighs, and for the first time since he started talking, he seems uncertain.

"I might be terribly off, and if that’s the case, I apologize, but I decided not to go all the way to Okinawa to ask for Suga’s opinion this time, but to ask you directly."

"A sound decision if you ask me," Kei says, and he could smash his head against the wall from how dumb he feels saying it instead of nodding along fervently, approving of all of Daichi’s deductions.

"Well," Daichi laughs in reply, sounding a little nervous, "in this case, allow me to make a fool out of myself properly."

He takes a short inhale, and Kei finds him absolutely adorable.

"Tsukishima Kei, could you be enjoying my company?" he asks finally in a tone so formal Kei doubles over.

"Could I?" he asks back, pushing his glasses on top of his head to wipe off the tear forming in the corner of his eye. "What is there to enjoy, really?"

"I enjoy yours," Daichi replies.

Kei suddenly becomes aware that the hand which has been holding his arm previously has raised up to his neck, fingers resting against his nape.

"Do you?" he asks, voice cracking, as he fights back the urge to either step away or immediately lean down and kiss Daichi unconscious.

"Never tell this to the team, but you were my favorite," Daichi says, his fingers doing something along Kei’s nape that makes him giddy and ticklish. "And ever since you joined the association, I can’t shake off the thought that I might have been noticing your eyes on me more than others because I was looking at you. I doubt I could really grasp the concept of love in high school, but I might have been a little into you back then."

"Really?" Kei asks, reaching up to cover Daichi’s hand in his. "Then what about now?"

"I want to be here before you," Daichi replies, letting Kei take control over his hand, "and it makes me happy to see you arrive early."

"I want to spend as much alone time with you as possible before the others arrive," Kei replies, bringing Daichi’s hand to his lips. "You big fat liar," he continues, whispering a kiss on Daichi’s fingertips, "you said something about bus schedules?"

"I drive a car," Daichi replies, eyes blown wide and focusing on his hand in Kei’s.

"Hn," Kei teases, turning Daichi’s hand, grazing the back of it with his lips. "That sounds really useful. I take the train from Sendai, can you believe it?"

"You like playing, don’t try to say otherwise," Daichi sounds almost nagging, and if not for the sharp inhale he takes as Kei licks at his wrist, he could fool someone (not Kei though) that Kei’s ministrations have no effect on him.

"I like it," Kei agrees, biting down softly, "but it’s a hassle. And I’m sweaty."

"Yeah," Daichi sighs, "me too."

"Can I kiss you?" Kei asks then, holding Daichi’s hand up and away from his face. "I really want to wash up but I feel that I wouldn’t be able to behave myself in the showers if I didn’t kiss you thoroughly before, and I really don’t want to do anything inappropriate in a public changing room, no matter how much it caters to my teenage wet dreams."

"You had surprisingly kinky wet dreams then."

"I bet yours were super timid," Kei grins.

"Not always," Daichi tips his head to one side. "But during high school? Definitely."

"So what you say?"

"Kiss away."

 

*

 

"You know," Daichi says later that evening, watching as Kei makes pasta, "there’re so many things that surprise me about you."

"Like?"

"You’re an amazing engineer, yet you settle for an office in Miyagi."

"I might not be the adventurous type," Kei replies, ears reddening.

He never regretted his decision to stay close to home - Tokyo is big and attractive, full of challenges and friends Kei could spend time with. But there is plenty of work for him in Sendai too, some even proving to be a challenge. Plus, Tokyo doesn’t have the most essential thing for Kei’s happiness.

His ears redden a shade darker as he glances to his side where Daichi sits on a stool, leaning over the kitchen counter to peek at his cooking. It’s embarrassing, really, but the fact that he heard Daichi had become a teacher at Karasuno did play a role in him deciding to open his office in Sendai.

"I would’ve never imagined you were a good cook either. You’ve never been a big eater to begin with," Daichi continues, and as he speaks, Kei feels his eyes glued to the lips he kissed so thoroughly earlier this afternoon, slightly swollen and cherry red.

He fantasized about it - what it would be to kiss Sawamura Daichi.

Fifteen-year-old Kei envisioned it as something big and life-changing. He imagined sparkles and a camera spin around, and music blasting through the air to celebrate love in the making. Fifteen-year-old Kei also dreamed about stolen kisses, steamy kisses, small shared spaces, storages and hidden corners of the school library.

The Kei of today didn’t have any expectations; his thoughts were deafened by hope soaring through his brain like a thousand air raid sirens, and his mind was so filled with longing and lust it temporarily bleached all his memory of ever imagining kissing Daichi. Because he was kissing Daichi. Finally, after all those years of pining, he was actually kissing Daichi, hands in his hair and on his neck and mouth over mouth, tongue and teeth and ragged breaths and sounds and smells.

His brain was empty, only registering the sensations of Daichi.

It felt as if he had never kissed before; it was so elementally different from all the kissing he had done before. It was a first, kissing someone he loved. When Daichi tugged at the front of his shirt to pull him closer, Kei felt his hands around his heart.

He felt bare. Yet he never felt safer.

"Are you even listening?" Daichi’s voice brings him back to the present, his hands encircling Kei’s waist from behind.

"Hn," Kei replies, leaning into the touch.

"I was asking," Daichi says, blowing a fleeting raspberry over Kei’s neck, "whether you’d kick me out if I said I wanted to stay the night."

Kei trembles under the touch, turning off the stove to turn his entire attention to Daichi. He dips his head down and meets his ex-captain halfway in a soft, lingering kiss.

"Would you have rejected me, if I were to confess to you in high school?" he asks.

"Honestly?" Daichi glances up at him, tugging him closer by the belt of his jeans. "I have absolutely no idea," he nudges Kei, angling his face up to another kiss. When Kei doesn’t move in, but keeps watching him, the expression on Daichi’s face turns curious, if not cheeky. "Does it really matter? Will you kick me out if I don’t confirm that I would have, absolutely and under all circumstances, go out with you in high school?"

Kei pouts, but there’s no real edge to it. Daichi must sense it, as he raises to his toes and plants a disgustingly loud smooch on that pout.

"I’m staying?" he teases.

"It doesn’t sound that terrible," Kei replies, reaching behind Daichi, not letting him back on his feet. "But I have to inform you that I only have one bed."

"I hope we can share," Daichi says, looking up to Kei from behind half-mast eyes, and he’s sexier than all of fifteen-year-old Kei’s fantasies together. "Otherwise, I can take the couch…"

"That will not be necessary," Kei cuts in with a smile. "But first, I want you to taste my cooking."

 

  
***

 


End file.
